


Just Breathe

by MonikaFileFan



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Childbirth, F/M, Fluff, Halloween, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-13 22:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21004958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonikaFileFan/pseuds/MonikaFileFan
Summary: ...The steady whooshing sound of their baby’s little heartbeat filled the lull between each rise and fall of the painful tide that seemed dead set on sweeping her away. But as always, Mulder was her anchor, her constant, steadying her with his voice...





	1. Encouragement and Affirmation

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts: “Just breathe.” and, “I can't do this alone.”
> 
> This is a very old prompt given to me from Valerie. It’s not something I ever planned to do since childbirth can be completely subjective and difficult to write, in my opinion. But an idea struck based on personal experience, and I just rolled with it. 
> 
> Hopefully both Mother’s and women alike can connect with Scully during labor in ch.1, and the experience of delivery with Mulder by her side in ch.2.

Our Lady of Sorrows Hospital 

Labor and Delivery 

Room 1013

October 31st 

11:35 PM

“Just breathe, okay?” Mulder murmured along her shoulder, his thumb circling her hip in comfort. The steady whooshing sound of their baby’s little heartbeat filled the lull between each rise and fall of the painful tide that seemed dead set on sweeping her away. But as always, Mulder was her anchor, her constant, steadying her with his voice. 

Lights flashed in technicolor behind her eyelids as her head spun. She buried her face into the pillow to stifle a whimper as a surge of emotion took hold. She was delirious from lack of sleep and the fresh doses of adrenaline rushing through her veins with each contraction was exhausting. The gradual pain was the worst, knowing it would only get more and more intense with each passing second before it could slowly taper off into the next. 

“Another's coming,” he warned with a stroke of his thumb. The cramping crept up the swell of her abdomen once again and wrapped around her back, much like a python slowly squeezing the life from its prey. Except Scully was no prey within the grasp of a deadly snake. She was entering hour thirteen of active labor, and she was losing her ever-loving mind. 

“Oh God, Mulder, I can’t,” she moaned dejectedly. The contraction dissipated enough for her to breathe out her colorful indignation about the high level of Pitocin currently pumping through her IV. The discomfort had been manageable up until an hour ago when her body thoroughly absorbed the contraction inducing medication. And if Mulder uttered the words ‘slow and steady wins the race’ one more time, she‘d strangle him with her IV line. “I can’t handle this Pitocin,” she hissed. “Sonofabitch, Mulder, I need...” 

“What do you need, honey? Anything you need, I’m here for,” he reassured, lips pressed to her sweaty head.

“Drugs, dammit!”

She could hear the growl consuming her usual soft-spoken and respectful tone in the presence of fellow colleagues. Even as Mulder let out a puff of exhausted amusement at her candor, she didn’t give a damn. The pain was overwhelming now and she never remembered it hurting this intensely with their son. 

_ Oh, God, don’t think about that right now, _ she reminded herself through the haze of chatter between her husband and the labor and delivery nurse. Her husband: the one responsible for her teeth-gritting pain at the moment. 

The second irritation toward Mulder began to churn, a flash of him fiercely swooping into that old, broken down cabin in Georgia with such concern and awe shining in his teary, love-struck eyes stilled her. The memory of him gazing at their son laying red-faced and screaming upon her chest brought tears welling within her own. 

Feeling the sudden cool touch of Nurse Valerie’s fingers tenderly touching the IV taped to the back of her hand, Scully opened her eyes and noticed the previously dimmed laboring room was now backlit in a white glow. 

“Dana, I know you’re hurting,” she soothed as she adjusted the baby monitor strapped tightly around the curve of the miracle currently kicking her ribs. “I’m sorry baby’s taking her time to make an entrance, and I understand you’d rather do this the natural way… but since you’re high risk for Advanced Maternal Age, and your contractions slowed after your bag of waters broke, we just needed to spur them back into business.”

“She’s been in pain for hours. She’s got to be more dilated than last time. Can’t she get an epidural now?” Mulder rubbed her arm, the eagerness to relieve even a moment of her discomfort made Scully love him even more. If that were remotely possible. 

But suddenly, all she could focus on was the sensation of finally holding their baby and pushing back the urge to vomit.  _ “Oh!”  _

Another powerful contraction began to build and Scully watched Mulder eye the intensity of it on the monitor as it slowly rose and peaked for what seemed like an hour. 

“You’re doing so good, Scully. Almost done, honey. It’s going down now, okay, you got this…” 

Mulder’s mantra of encouragement and affirmation made her feel both good about her progress and frustrated at the same time. 

“I’m too old for this, Mulder. Oh, God—what if we’re too old for this?” she panted out in a panic, grasping at his stubbly jaw with her IV laden hand as the other white-knuckled bed frame. Her barely energized body had received its second wind, or twenty-second—she’d lost count after hour nine—and was thoroughly emotional. 

“You’re not old, Scully, we’re not old. You’re bringing another life into the world right now. You’re superwoman,” he chuckled. 

Her heart swelled and she looked at him. His expression was so soft and understanding that she nearly yanked his head down to kiss the beautiful man that claimed her heart decades ago and show him exactly how grateful she was for him.

But, considering the nurse’s gloved hand was now poised above her vagina once again, she opted to just kiss the palm of his hand instead. 

She was riding an emotional rollercoaster and her body was screaming. 

“Dana, I just need to check your progress one more time so you can get some pain relief. That okay?” 

“Yes, please.” Without prompting, Scully dropped both knees to the either side and nodded. Hell, she’d check herself if she could. 

“A little pressure here. Sorry. Okay, good! You’re a seven, 80 percent effaced, and at zero station.” Scully smiled and patted Mulder’s arm reassuringly. “Only three centimeters to go and you’re progressing faster. Won’t be long now with this being your second baby. But it is 11:42 now, so it looks like you won’t be getting a special Halloween treat this year. Sorry, Dad.” 

Nurse Valerie quickly entered Scully and the baby’s stats into the computer and offered up a genuinely sympathetic smile to a weary looking Mulder. 

“Be right back with the doctor’s orders for pain meds, Dana,” she promised with a wink and slipped out the door, not realizing how quickly things could drift into the unknown with Mr. and Mrs. Spooky involved. 

*


	2. Worth it all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don’t exactly go as planned in the delivery room.

***

11:51 PM

Dana Scully wasn’t afraid of much after all she and Mulder had endured in a lifetime. So, experiencing what women have been doing for thousands of years should be a breeze. But right then and there, she could fully admit to being afraid of bringing another miracle baby into the world, and that her fifty-four year old self was eighteen years out of practice. 

Her body still bared the outer scars of their son’s presence; yet cut nowhere near as deeply as the inner ones. 

Another debilitating contraction waned and Scully prayed to all that was holy that the pain meds would pull her into a sweet, numbing embrace when they finally flowed through her.

Mulder rubbed the ache out of her calves again and she gasped, instinctively sliding her hand down between her legs. “Oh no! I have pressure all of a sudden,” she gasped. “I need—God, I need to push right now!”

Mulder jolted from the foot of the bed, jostling the IV pole and smacking his face into the saline bag. “What? But the doctor isn’t here yet and… Hell, no one is!”

“You are,” she quickly reached over and pulled his hand between her thighs, guiding his fingertips toward the top of their baby’s head. She already felt the sting of it stretching her perineum and knew she had no control over what was surely coming next. “She’s crowning already—ugh, my body is pushing for me, Mulder!”

“Okay… shit, shit, shit! Okay, hang on, Scully.” With one hand cupped around the warmth of their baby’s bulging head, Mulder frantically stabbed at the CALL button attached to the bed with the other and cussed colorfully with each jab. “Hey, hello? Nurse!”

“No time,” she hissed, jerking the sheet off her legs, the monitor strapped to her belly omitting a white noise with the intense swell of her contraction. “Mulder, please don’t pass out on me! I can’t do this alone.” 

With a pale yet determined face, he nodded and promised, “You won’t. We got this! And hey, we watched that birth video once on accident, remember?” he laughed nervously as she hooked her arms under her knees, drawing them up to her shoulders and groaning with her first intentional push. “We thought it was that one we—oh Jesus, Scully, there’s blood and she has lots of hair and—”

“Shut up, Mulder and grab her!” 

Scully didn’t need to look up to know his panic face was in full effect, but she trusted him more than anyone, and their baby was coming  _ now. _

She pushed through the burning pain one more time, hard and long. A long, primal growl cut through the tension-filled room. Scully felt the momentary relief of pressure as their daughter’s head popped past her pubic bone and into Mulder’s waiting hands. “Ugh!”

Mulder gasped, shock and awe written across his face as he muttered soothing words that Scully could not hear through the blood rushing in her ears. 

“Go ahead and push again, Scully, I got her,” he said slowly this time, leaning in so she’d lock eyes with him and see so much more than his words could ever say. 

She bared down one final time, hearing the small gush of warm fluid and a squeak of surprise come from Mulder. Scully then felt the familiar sensation of a tiny human sliding out of her and into her husband’s eager arms. “ _ Oh!  _ Oh my God, honey, you did it! You’re so brave, Scully,” Mulder choked with tears shining in his eyes. 

The throbbing pain was forgotten and a haze of euphoria took over. 

Scully sucked in a breath and sent up a silent prayer that her mother had just witnessed the miracle of her granddaughter's birth right along with her. 

She couldn’t see much through blurred vision or around her trembling legs, but she caught enough love within one glance at a grinning Mulder cradling their child to make her grin right back. 

And then there was silence. 

For a few seconds the room was completely quiet, still like the calm before the storm. And just when a tendril of panic coiled in her gut, their daughter’s first cries rang out, shrill and shaking, punctuated by little hiccups. 

“Oh, thank God,” she breathed, lowering her legs limply in an attempt to see more. 

Mulder was hurriedly pulling on the sheet tangled beneath them and tenderly cleaning away remnants of her birth from her rounded cheeks. 

“She’s here and she’s beautiful, honey, she’s just—”

“What, Mulder?” Scully shot up onto her elbows with her heart in her throat. “She’s just what?”

“It’s fine. She’s fine, Scully.  _ She _ just looks like a  _ he _ .”

Her jaw dropped. “What are you—are you sure?” Their slippery, pink baby covered in layers of vernix and blood mewled in protest as Mulder lifted the tiny bundle away from the comfort of his warm chest and pointed wide-eyed between its legs. “Oh, Jesus Christ, Mulder,” she laughed for the first time in days and told him, “That’s just part of her umbilical cord wrapped around her thigh!”

“Oh… she’s just so goopy I couldn’t tell what I was looking at,” he chuckled blissfully along with her, a joyful tear dripping down his face just as two nurses and her ever elusive doctor rushed through doorway as the clock struck 11:59 PM. “She’s perfect.”

***

Labor and Delivery 

Postpartum Unit 

Room 0223

November 1st

1:50 AM

Two hours after what Nurse Valerie had dubbed the “delivery of the year,” Scully was finally able to rest with a strong dose of pain medication flowing freely through her IV. A less intense form of medication she’d missed out on during the actual birthing part, while Mulder was rocking their 7lb, 6oz baby girl next to her. 

Mulder had been perfect. Scully always knew he would be wonderful in a situation like that, one in which she was debilitated with pain and relied solely on him: her other half. But, never did she believe he would so supportive in delivering their own child without so much of a wince. 

That was her Mulder. They always kept each other guessing. 

He shifted one arm around her shoulders and she covered his hand cradling their baby with one of hers. “This is… wow, Scully,” his voice was thick like honey, emotion rising in his throat. “I-I’m so sorry. I’m just so sorry I missed this before. That I missed it all.”

Scully stared at the guilt contorting his handsome face. Guilt he’d never truly let go of, twisting this beautiful moment into one of pain and regret. She realized then that she'd done the same thing. “No, don’t.”

But this man, her partner, her friend, her husband, her everything… he’d been forced to miss  _ this _ : their son growing in her womb; his birth; his nine months spent being wholly loved by her before she sacrificed their chance to experience parenthood in order to keep William as safe as humanly possible. 

“It’s not your fault, Mulder. It never was,” she whispered, stroking his stubbled jaw. “And I think I can finally accept that none of it was mine, either.” 

He placed a kiss on her forehead and then to their daughters and whispered against the softness of her cheek, “You did the right thing, Scully. Like you told me in front of the church candles, I don’t and won’t ever begrudge you of that. Our son is alive and strong as hell because of you. You’re a Mother, Scully. You always have been.”

She nodded and swallowed a sob. She couldn’t cry anymore and her limbs were heavy, pliant against the heat of him. 

“We made a tiny, perfect person together; again,” he said wistfully, soothing the softness of their daughters hand. “We still need a name for this little one.”

“Mmm…” Scully’s eyes fluttered as she nestled in closer. “How about Piglet? She has your appetite already.”

“Not bad. But, I was thinking… what about using your mom’s name? She meant a lot to both of us, Scully, and I just can’t think of another way to show how just how mu—”

“Shh, it’s okay, Mulder. I know and so did she.” 

***

“You’re a natural at that, Dad. Most men have trouble with the ‘baby burrito’ no matter how many children they’ve had,” a voice she didn’t recognize filtered through her fog of sleep. “I’ll be back in an hour to check on Mom, too. Get some rest, huh? It passes the time until rounds.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Scully could hear the smile in Mulder’s voice, which urged her to open her eyes and look at the joy she knew she’d see. “Though this isn’t a bad way to pass the time, either.”

A little fist popped out of the swaddling as Scully slowly roused while the new nurse exited the room. She watched her daughter stretch and turn her fuzzy head, face reddening in a wide, toothless yawn before gripping a hand tightly around Mulder’s finger. It was precious. And she thought that, yes this would be a perfect way to pass their day away. And the rest of their lives, too, for that matter. 

She watched with drooping eyes as he sniffed her walnut colored tuft of hair and pressed a gentle kiss to her fontanel. 

“You’re a little Halloween miracle, you know that, baby girl? But I’ll let you in on a little secret, one even your mommy doesn’t know. I wished for you for years. I wished Mommy would be able to have you or any child she wanted. I wished for her to have the choice to be someone’s mother. Like most women do. I wished for… your brother. God, I even prayed hopelessly for him; and your ole dad was not a praying man.”

Scully knew Mulder thought she was still sleeping out of sheer exhaustion, but as she watched him hold his daughter they thought he’d never have and listened to him speak the words she’d never heard him say aloud, she’d never felt more awake. 

He sniffled, and her own throat tightened. 

“I say  _ was _ because there were nights… nights when I’d beg whoever was listening to just give her everything in life she deserved. And honestly, I knew I wasn’t worthy of any of her,” he chuckled. “No one was. She deserved so much more in life: the joy of being a mother, her health, her safety, to keep our son… no matter what I had to sacrifice, it didn’t matter. Your mommy is worth it all.”

Hot tears burned down her cheeks and a hoarse sob burst from her chest. “I love you.”

“Hey, you’re awake—oh, Scully, you’re upset.” He moved in swiftly to wipe away her tears. “You okay?”

“I love you, Mulder, and I don’t tell you enough just how much.”

“You tell me everyday just by being here.” He tucked their baby girl under his chin and sat on the bed, swiping away fresh tears she refused to hold back.

“It’s not enough, Mulder. It will never be enough to adequately explain how I feel about you.”

“I love you, too.” He tucked hair behind her ear and kissed her softly. Her tired eyes slid shut and the veil of fatigue wrapped around her once again as she heard the faint sound of Mulder’s fading voice. “And  _ you _ are enough, Scully, you’ve always been more than enough for me.”

“We never did give up on a miracle, did we?” she slurred, “We never gave up on any of them.” She felt his face nuzzle hers and she finally succumbed to a peaceful sleep. 

——

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and to Annie and Jeri for the beta! 😘

**Author's Note:**

> I’m slightly nervous about this one, so any feedback—as usual—is appreciated. ❤️


End file.
